About Abuse

Abuse in a relationship covers many scenarios from the most obvious to the excruciatingly subtle. The most important thing to remember is that confusion, pain and blame are the prevalent elements in abuse. If you are confused by the relationship, hurt by the relationship or find you are perpetually or often blamed for things beyond your control (and even within your control), then you are likely in an abusive relationship. But confusion, pain, and blame occur in normal relationships, especially when two people are learning to understand each other. So what distinguishes “normal” from abusive? The main reality of abuse is that it  creates an atmosphere of submission and oppression to the one exercising some form of control over the other. Fear is the hallmark of an abusive relationship.

There are six types of abuse , which can be described as:

1)   Mental/Emotional: name calling, putdowns, blame, passive/aggression, exploitation of known insecurities, insults, intimidation tactics, breaking or destroying cherished possessions, etc.
2)   Physical: slapping, pushing, hitting, kicking, punching, biting, etc.
3)   Sexual: being forced into sexual contact, using relationship as the justification “you are my wife” for sexual activity, etc.
4)   Threats: “I’ll kill you.” “You’ll pay.” “I’ll kill myself.” “You’ll never see the kids again.” This is obviously mental and emotional abuse but is a uniquely powerful element since it also gives victims the opportunity to document and note the overt and outright threats in any civil or criminal legal proceedings.
5)   Isolation:  cutting off from contact with family, friends and co-workers, suggesting loved ones are against or unfriendly with the abuser or the abused, not allowed to leave the house, monitoring mileage on the cars, etc.
6)   Economic: not allowed to have a job, being given an allowance, all expenditures monitored to check for any “extra” or suspicious activity, sabotaging efforts to get a job, causing economic hardship in order to reinforce any dependence, etc.

For more information go to: http://www.healthline.com

Child Welfare Information Gateway has created a newly enhanced Domestic Violence web section. It provides updated and expanded information on the co-occurrence of child maltreatment and domestic violence, as well as information on how social service providers can work together to improve services for children, youth, and families affected by domestic violence. Visit them here.

Information contained in the Family Abuse Services of Alamance County website is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not meant to replace, and should not be interpreted or relied upon as medical, psychological, legal or professional advice or otherwise. By accessing the Family Abuse Services of Alamance County website you automatically agree to be bound by the terms and conditions contained in its disclaimers. Please read Family Abuse Services of Alamance County’s Disclaimer for further information. Family Abuse Services is a member agency of United Way of Alamance County.

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